Jade

Oh my God…is what I have been saying lately. I have been in deep thought about my adulterous relationship with Virgo. Although I did not know he was married I still kind of beat myself up about it. I believe in Karma. The scripture says "give and it shall be given good measure pressed down shaken together and running over shall men give unto your bosum". I am so afraid that this will come back on me and I really don’t want it to. I don’t want my husband to be to have an emotional connection with a woman outside of the marriage. (more…)

 This entry is something that I have been holding because I have been analyzing myself; my past, my present, and my relationships. A conversation with Virgo this morning has prompted me to dig deep inside of me. I am really sitting with my heart heavy. Heavy with the pain of hurt from yet another nigga. The type of hurt that makes you feel ill. Well…….I am owning this bullshit right here because it is the epitimy of the reason why…why I have allowed myself to be in unhealthy situations. So here goes…. (more…)

 I have finally figured out who my students remind me of. The picture above should tell all. They remind me of Riley on the Boondocks (males and females alike). Today there were a series of incidents that occurred from the time I walked into the school building until it was time to go. I have to find humor it what they do. If I don’t find humor in what they do I won’t make it. I do find humor in the things that they do however, I also try to correct the behaviors. Sometimes that is like so real hard. (more…)

My weekend was great. I can say that now. It took me a moment to get a grip, but I did. I did not like the way that the conversation with Virgo ended on Friday but…there is nothing that I can do about that. Anyhow…Friday night my friend Chopper called and according to him, I sounded down so he invited me to El Ranchero. After moping for a while, I decided to go. My hair was straight messed up. It was late so I couldn’t get it done because no one would take me due to the time. It was so out of order that I could not do anything with it. In fact it looked a hot mess, but it didn’t matter because I was not going to try to “catch” as my grandfather would say. Anyhow, to my surprise (regardless of having a bad hair day) I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I met a lot of folk. However, I was still self conscience about my hair and could not wait until I could get something done with the shit that was sitting on the top of my head. So Saturday, I did just that I went to the Dominicans for the first time and allowed them to do my hair…. and boy did they do a good job. I was pleased and everywhere I went for the remainder of the day I was complemented on my hair. My second brain even commented on it. I appreciate him so. He just doesn’t realize how much he helps me. I spent part of the evening with him watching the Boondocks chillin’ and eating crab legs. I left from him and went to a barbeque and there started the beginning of an interesting situation. (more…)

With the sequence of events that occurred over the course of last week , I was a little down but tried to fight it. As I sat in my quiet place I reflected upon a poem that I memorized during my early twenties. I think it describes me and the feelings that I have towards myself. It’s my inspriration.

Phenomenal Woman By Mya Angelo

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. (more…)

Now I just posted something last night but this page will not be complete unless I add this little piece of drama. As an extension to the post motives that is below, some shit just went down and I am pissed off to the highest point of pistivity. Well enough with the bullshit here goes. To a certain extent I feel like a fool, or should I say in the words of my cousin and my second brain– I feel straight foolish. See what occurred is that the woman of the man that I have talked about in several of my posts called me today. When she first called, I must admit that I did not know who she was. She then said to me that she is the wife of the liar that I called my love and Virgo. For some strange reason today she called and wanted to talk. She was upset but calm. I took the chance of meeting her at the Wal-Mart by my house. We talked for about two hours. She felt the need to provide me with some information about her and her situation with him. Now what’s fucked up is that this joker told me that he was not married, but she carries the marriage certificate in the car. Oh wow!!!! (more…)