What’s Going On With Me?
I am feeling good right about now. I prayed and asked GOD to remove all of the negative energies from my life. I did not think that it would have happened so easily….so quickly….so abruptly. I mean it seems that all of a sudden I have lost contact with the people that brought the most drama to my life….the most hurt….the most pain…..the most dispappointment. While I wish them well, I have recognized that I am attracting the same type of people. I am grateful that I can identify this, but I am like damn…What the fuck is wrong with me? Don’t get me wrong….. the people that I attract have some great qualities, but most of them have women. This is like really bothering me. Recently out of seven men that have approached me (within the last week) six of them have women. What the fuck type of stamp do I have on my head? Why am attracting these men with women? I am fighting to change me. I don’t even understand.
What’s even worse is that I had been longing to talk to a past friend. I had really been thinking about him. In fact, I hadn’t spoken with him in about six months…..until the other day. I stopped contacting him as much because I realized that I have an attraction to him. I haven’t seen him in years but its just something about him. It’s like we just pick up where we leave off everytime we loose contact. Now..I must admit that in the back of my mind I always felt as if one day we would have the opportunity to be in a healthy relationship….at least that is something that I secrectly wanted. Well, I recently found out that he now has a woman. They are not married but he is pretty serious with her. I wish I would have told him of my feelings sooner. I guess that I am a day late and a dollar short. All I can say is …..his woman has a good man and she had better hold on to him because any sign of her fuckin up…I’ll be on the first thing smokin to Huntsville. NO NOT TO KICK HER ASS BUT TO GET THAT MAN!!!!
Why did I know immediately who this post was about before you said “Huntsville”. I told you last year….
Comment by Beloved — July 19, 2006 @ 10:08 am
And um…just to answer the question about the attraction thing. Sometimes you can attract the thing that you put out there about you. For ex., if you put out there that you’re so tough that you don’t need all of a person then you’re going to attact people that aren’t able to give you all of themselves. Feel me?
Comment by Beloved — July 19, 2006 @ 10:15 am
I feel you. I fucked up. Yeah, you are right. I need to lighten up and I have beem working on that. As for Huntsville, as long as she makes him happy I guess that it is all good. I missed out on that one. I just wish that I would have told him how I feel instead of hoping he would pick up on it. I made a bad decision.
Jade
Comment by Jade — July 19, 2006 @ 6:42 pm
Why is it that when I am going through something, you are right there with me? Girl!!!! Be patient! If its meant to be it will be. I’ve run out of wismsical things to say right now. But you get the point……
Comment by Choas — July 20, 2006 @ 12:14 am
All I can say is I told you a long time ago to tell that man how you felt. Like Beloved, I knew exactly who you were talking about before I even saw “Huntsville”.
Comment by Unadulterated — July 21, 2006 @ 5:39 am