Shortage
I have been struggling trying to figure out if there is really a shortage of single men in Atlanta or is it just a shortage in me as a women that causes single, availabe, successful men not to graviatate towards me. I have questioned the way that I look, my personality, my inner being and I am currently working on the me within. I must admit that it is a lonely journey and I am a work in progress.
It is quite discouraging to watch the gay and down low population grow like wild flowers. WTF? I don’t know if I notice the gays because I would like to be in a relationship or if it is that there are so many of them you just can’t miss them. I can remember about a year and a half ago going to the mountains with a group of friends gay and straight. I must admit that before that time I did not really understand the make up of homosexual relationships. One of my high school friends that was close to me during high school and early college was the event planner and host. He planned a grand event that was remarkable. In retrospect, I think that I was hoodwinked. Little did I know that I was in for a weekend full of unexpected surprises. Surprise number 1….I didn’t know that there were going to be so many gays together in one room….Surprise number 2….I was able to see with my own eyes that my friend the host is just as gay as the day is long….I mean no turning back. Surprise #3…..the gay friend and I used to switch cars early college and one of his gay friends described my car. Ok..I could not help but to think….LAWD have mercy…What in the devil were they doing in my car? Anyhow, back to the mountain trip…. during that time in the mountains, the gay dudes were talking to Beloved and I, about how to keep a man, how to suck a dick, how to dance for your man, and a host of other things. HOLD IT!!! is what I said; but as I reflect on the comments, everything they emphazised made much sense. I’m trippin because as I sat down over the weekend and reminenced about the event with Beloved, I now have an understanding homolove…as Beloved calls it. I mean they go over and beyond the call of duty for their men. Not that I don’t do that for men that I am involved with, but it’s just a little different hearing that coming from men. These jokers were in the hot tub together feeding each other fresh fruit playing truth or dare. It was wild. Nevertheless, it brings me back to my point of why is it that I can attract a good man? What is wrong with me? My gay friend is now a player. He brought a homothug to an event. I had nothing….I was done. Dude was tated up and down. He even had tat’s on his neck!!!If he can get a man that easily why the hell can’t I? I am a fuckin’ woman. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want a bisexual man. I would like someone that likes yssup exclusively. I don’t know, like I said, I can’t help but wonder if there is a shortage of men or is there a severe shortage in me?
WELCOME BACK TRICK! Just kidding! I have been waiting to see what is going on in that mind of yours. But back to your blog….. There is a shortage of straight and non- commitment fearing men. It’s like they are popping up everywhere. Like this is the new fad. When in reality, its just another way we are killing ourselves and our people. Imposed by the government. But beleive me, when he comes. he will sweep you off your feet and leave you asking “Where have you been all this time?” I missed you! I still need to see this haircut.
Comment by Choas — September 7, 2006 @ 7:16 pm
I’m repeating advice that was given to me:
“Be yourself, know yourself, and love will come.”
Either way I’m sure the homolove (lol! at that name) and the tatted dudes weren’t for you gay or straight so your dude is out there waiting to meet you.
Comment by Honest — September 8, 2006 @ 4:16 am
First, I’m LMAO @ “yssup”. I have GOT to try to work that into regular conversation.
Secondly, yes the mountains trip was a real eye opener but like I was telling you the other day, the dynamic between the “event planner” and his man was what opened my eyes to the real feelings that are involved in that relationship.
Third (or is this fourth ‘cause I’m too lazy to scroll up), gay or straight if you don’t love yourself well first, you won’t be able to give or receive love. And that’s even evident w/ “event planner” now because he just went through some issues himself.
Fourth (or fifth), I’m SO glad that you finally updated. I thought I was really gonna hafta cut you.
Fifth (or sixth), you have GOT to go to the sequel in November!
Comment by Beloved — September 9, 2006 @ 5:44 am
I’m not buying the shortage that everyone keeps claiming exists. I see good (and single) Black men practically everywhere I go. I don’t know you to know whether or not there is a “shortage” in you. However, I have to ask where are you going in the hopes of attracting these men? I’ve never met any man I’ve dated while looking for a man or at the club/bar/wherever. Where have I met them? At other people’s houses (get togethers, pool parties, etc.), skiing, camping, doing whatever. I strongly believe there’s no reason for women to look for men. If you just live your life, you will meet plenty.
Comment by GeckoGirl — September 10, 2006 @ 9:27 pm
In response to GeckoGirl…….Usually when you aren’t looking for men they are in abundance. However, there does come a time where we all want to settle down and we start paying attention to our surroundings. I can’t say if there’s a shortage or not. But I can say its rather hard to trust men these days, especially with the new wave of “down low” brothers. You have men who appear to be “God’s Gift” and all the while they have another agenda. The “down low” brothers tend to be the perfect mate simply because they don’t want to be exposed.
Chaos and Beloved both touched on interesting points. In order to be love you have to first love yourself. I can attest to this. For the past 5 years I haven’t been loving myself and look at all the BS that has come my way. Now that I’m getting things back on track and focusing more on me I can honestly say I’m happy again. My self-confidence is on the rise. We do get caught up on the blame game, whether we’re saying its a shortage or that men just ain’t spit. We have to learn to take control of the situation and make sure we have our lives under control. We only get back what we put out. Until we realize and understand that nothing else will make sense. We may talk a good game but self-consciencely we’re feeling something else. Our inner feelings almost always tend to shine through the outer.
Comment by Unadulterated — September 20, 2006 @ 11:23 pm
I think there is a shortage in your area. This study notes that there are 279 black men with
jobs to every 1,000 black women. If you add in the gay
men, its worse.
http://www.blackpressusa.com/news/Article.asp?SID=3&Title=National+News&NewsID=3
568
Comment by c2a — October 12, 2006 @ 12:20 am