I’d like to meet…..

October 3, 2006

I’d like to meet:
1. My husband. Every woman dreams of having a companion, a knight in shinning armor. I know he’s out there….I feel it. Nevertheless,I’m still waiting on us to meet.

2. My biological father. Why? To show him what he missed out on. I’m not perfect, but I consider myself a hard working successful woman. He denied me and left my mom before I was born. What’s sad is that his mom cosigned to his foolishness. I’m not angry…I’m not holding a grudge but I would like to meet him.

3.Warrick Dunn. No! I am not a groupie!!!! Why? Because I respect him and look to him as a positive role model…not just to African American Youth but to all youth!!! Reading of his struggles and road to success inspires me to keep moving regardless of the obstacles that I may face.

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Chicken or Eagle?

July 5, 2006

I am really happy. God is good. It has been such a blessing to be reunited with my past friends. I guess I should not say past friends but my friends from the past that are now in my present. NOW! One of the reasons that I have not been blogging is because I have been laying wood floors in my house….. OK! yes I am being cheap. I wanted them, I could afford the material but not the labor…So I bought the materials and I provided the service to myself. In other words I put the shits down myself. At any rate, that is not the moral of this entry. The moral of this entry is that I was reminded of a story of chickens and the eagles. In retrospect, I was familar with the concept of the this story but the way in which this parable was re-presented to me made me reflect on my life. The story is as follows..

In life you have two types of birds (people) eagles and chickens. If we look at the characteristics of chickens we must remember that chickens don’t fly very high…in fact they only fly a couple of feet off of the ground. They only eat shrubs and worms…things that are close to the ground. Their vision is limited to what is directly around them. If you really think about it, chickens are always some where couped up with other chickens. Since many people in the world eat chicken I guess it is safe to say that they are waiting on the slaughter and don’t even know it.

Now eagles on the other hand are totally different. Eagles fly high and have a broad veiw of all things. Eagles fly alone. Eagles are strong and resourceful. In relating these things to life and all of the people around me. I would much rather be an eagle flying high and seeing all than a chicken. In the end when it all comes down to it, the eagle will always catch the chicken and devour it because chickens have limitaitons that eagles don’t have.

I told a similar version of this story to my kids. My four year old picked right up on it. She now tells the sixteen year old things like "eagles don’t speak those types of things", "eagles don’t make those types of choices" etc. It is my prayer that as life goes on that my children grasp an even deeper understanding of this parable and live their lives as eagles as opposed to chickens. I have faith…I know it’s possible.

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Lost and Found

June 6, 2006

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a 30th birthday party for a friend that I have not seen in about thirteen years. I must admit after viewing the guest list I had reservations about attending. Nevertheless, I am glad that I did. I saw so many people that I have not seen in so many years. I was happy to see everyone but there was one person in particular that I had the opportunity to be reunited with that I am really elated about. Seeing him was so refreshing. He was a very good friend to me. I can remember back in the day talking to him on the phone about whatever…When I saw him I was so happy. We dialogued briefly discussing what was going on in our lives. We exchanged information and we talked on Sunday night for about four hours. I am truly proud of him. I am so happy that things are working out for him. Now that we are back in touch I don’t plan on him going into the lost and found box again. He has gained so much wisdom and knowledge. I don’t think that he even realized how his being and conversations has inspired me already. I guess I can agree with the cliche’ once a friend always a friend.

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Evolution and Emancipation

May 16, 2006

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."     ~James Baldwin  

As I was reflecting this morning I realized that until I face some things in my life, I will be stagnant. I don’t mean stagnant professionally, but I mean emotionally stagnant and vulnerable to things that mean me no good. Many people look at my shell and see my exterior and think that I have it together, but I am far from that. In fact, I have been thinking about the evolution and emancipation of me, which will not take place unless I face some things. (more…)

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TGIF….It’s the Weekend…Finally!!

May 6, 2006

 I am so REAL glad that today is Friday. I am really looking forward to my weekend. I am going to live it up.  Tonight I am going to spend some time with my four year old. I think that I am going to take her to the movies and Red Lobster or Mary Mac’s. I have been promising her for the last week that we would go. I know if I don’t get out this weekend it will be a long time before I will be able to go out again because I started a new Doctoral class and the work is staked up.

Also, I can’t forget Saturday………My friend is having a 30th birthday party on Saturday night and I WILL be in attendance. I don’t know what I will wear to the party but I was so happy last night as I was trying on my clothes from last summer. I can actually still wear them. I was a little self conscience because I thought I had gained some weight but it doesn’t look bad. So…… I have summer clothes and it’s all good because I don’t have to buy any…I have the luxury of buying clothes this summer because I want to….. and I have something nice to wear to the party. You can’t get any better than that. I am grateful and excited….and I look forward to a great weekend of enjoying life and the folks around me.

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Life is short…I’m Grateful

May 5, 2006

On Yesterday another person from my old neighborhood died. I had not seen him in about nine years but to know that he was so young…26 to be exact really did something to me. My heart aches for his parents. He was the only child and I cannot imagine the hurt that his parents are experiencing. My prayers are definetly with them.

The sting of his death has prompted me to reflect and realize that tommorow is not promised. I am so, so, grateful. As I stepped out of bed this morning I could not help but to fall to my knees with tears of joy, thanksgiving, humility, and repenteance. It’s something about the sting of death that brings about a true appreciation of life. This day I am making a committment to my God, my children, my self, and all others around me to be a better mother, friend, teacher,…a better person overall.

I am thankful for everyone and everthing around me. Today is the first day in a long time that I have felt a sense of peace, understanding, and a knowing that everything is going to be alright.

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